Closure

I got closure - but somehow it doesn’t feel like it. The road has ended but my heart had left me before I could quit. Sorrow manifests itself in the wounds that had been carved before, they feel like worms infested in an open cut - memories can be scarring, a nostalgic whisper of what could’ve been if things would’ve been how I had imagined. Imagination- I fear my imagination is far too wide, far too vivid I imagined the entity of our relationship and it was a stark contrast to what it really was, but it helped me, it’s always had But the funny thing is I’ve realized we were so similar yet so different We both sought pain though we feared it. Where our thoughts traveled separate patterns was as it relates to love and effort. Effort - the key to fix all problems Effort I’ve realized is another word for love Our relationship lacking effort meant that there was no love Useless, a tale to tell to my future kids Kids that won’t belong to him He’ll be referred to as my first love - my first everything I’ll cry after I tell them the story of how we met after I put them to bed then I’ll smile with my husband as I nestle in mine Hushed voices whispering I love you’s and promises that I had only hoped to whisper to HIM He’ll be a constant thought, a constant ache, a never ending yearn for a wish to go back But if time could go back would things be any different Would we have ended up in a happy home with 2 kids, one for both of us- fulfilling all the passions we had spoken of in the dark when we were alone together- in love? I don’t want to think about it. I mustn’t.